Saturday, 27 June 2015

Joke of the Day: Modern Day Pastor


By on 11:00
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In one of the modern day churches, the Pastor was not happy at the rate that the amount of money collected as offerings during the Sunday services kept dwindling week after week. For some week, no member of the church has dropped a N500:00 note in the offering bag. It has been just N20:00 or N50:00 notes all the way, with few N100:00 notes and occasionally N200:00 notes.

He decided on a device to make the parishioners pay more to the church to prevent the church from running into financial crisis. So, he came out with a quick one. The following Sunday, he threw in the bombshell shortly before the Church ushers started going round with the offering bags to collect the day’s offerings.
“Brethren, I am not particularly happy to say this, but I will be failing in my divine call and duties if I continue to keep quite. I am afraid I have to tell you that there is a male member of this church who has been having an illicit sexual relationship with another parishioner’s wife. You will agree with me that this is a terrible sin and a serious violation of God’s commandments. I know the person! However, I have the divine call to let you know that unless the man puts a one thousand naira (N1000:00) note in the offering bag now, I will reveal his identity”
Later in the vestry, it was discovered, when sorting and counting the day’s collections, that 55 one-thousand naira (N1000:00) bills were received. A note was also found that reads:
“I am sorry, I can only give you one five hundred naira (N500:00) note now. I will add the remaining five hundred naira note during the evening service at 6pm today. Please, forever hold your peace, Pastor” 

(Culled from the book, Read & Laugh: First 100 jokes of our time by Olaleye Falore)

Gbenga Dan Asabe

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