Tuesday, 16 August 2016

Rule 31: Shut up! If you can’t say anything nice


By on 10:00
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Famous Nigerian Clothier, Alero Idowu of Hallero Couture

A really easy rule to understand but a tough one to follow. We all like to gossip, to bitch, and to talk about our bosses behind their back.  The rule, however, is – don’t do it. Learn to say only positive things, nice things, and complimentary things.  People judge you by what you say as much as how you say it (see Rule 2), so be known as someone who is always pleasant and upbeat.

                           So, don’t gossip
‘Did you know that at the last company conference Steve, from accounts was seen coming out of Debbie’s, from marketing, bedroom in the early hours of Sunday morning?  And that twice since they have been seen in Luigi’s at lunchtime and Kathy swears she’s seen them holding hands in the lift.  Steve’s married, you know, and I thought Debbie was engaged.  What do you think?  Should they be carrying on like this?


Answer:  ‘What’s this got to do with me?’


“Gossiping is the occupation of idle minds – those who haven’t got enough work to do.  It is also the domain of workers who have mindless jobs to do – jobs they can do without thinking and thus have to occupy themselves with inane chatter, tittle-tattle, rumor, lies and malicious stories”

Good, it has nothing to do with you, unless Steve happens to be your boss and his work is being affected, or you happen to be Debbie’s fiancé.  This rule says that you don’t gossip.  It doesn’t say you don’t listen.  You may find it interesting and knowing what’s going on comes in useful sometimes. But there is one part of this rule which is really, really simple – don’t pass anything on.  That’s it. Gossip stops with you.  If you listen but don’t pass it along or offer an opinion you’ll be seen as ‘one of us’ rather than a party pooper.  You don’t have to be seen disapproving – merely don’t pass anything along.

“THERE IS ONE PART OF THIS RULE WHICH IS REALLY, REALLY SIMPLE – DON’T PASS ANYTHING ON”.

Gossiping is the occupation of idle minds – those who haven’t got enough work to do.  It is also the domain of workers who have mindless jobs to do – jobs they can do without thinking and thus have to occupy themselves with inane chatter, tittle-tattle, rumor, lies and malicious stories.  Trouble is that if you don’t join in you can be seen as severe or stuck up.  You have to look as if you gossip without doing it.  Don’t go getting all hoity-toity and telling everyone how silly they are doing it.
With most things discretion is the key word.  Don’t be seen disapproving – just don’t do it and keep that to yourself.

 (Excerpts from THE RULES OF WORK by Richard Templer Read “How to stop Bitching” from The Rules tomorrow on Asabeafrika)

Gbenga Dan Asabe

Africa's Number One Celebrity Encounter Blog

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