Friday, 25 November 2016

Rule 74: Be conciliatory


By on 11:30
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Two Nigeria's Elite Opposition Party, PDP Politicians,  Gov. Ayodele Fayose of Ekiti & Ex-Miniser of State for Defense, Musiliu  Obanikoro


Feathers have been ruffled.  You weren’t involved.  It was nothing to do with you.  Doesn’t matter.  Make sure it is you who soothes those feathers.
·                    Make everyone a cup of tea.

·                    Stroke a few egos
·                    Clear the air

·                    Open a window
·                    Get them to shake hands (or kiss and make up)

If feathers have been ruffled by a boss telling off a junior, make sure it is the junior you comfort, cheer up, brighten up, and perk up, whatever.  The boss should be handled differently.  The best way is the silent but disapproving action of conciliation—make them a cup of tea but say nothing.  You are indicating that you disapprove – and thus are really senior to them because you wouldn’t make such a mistake – that you aren’t scared of them or their anger or whatever.  But maintain the silence.

“Being conciliatory is a bit like breaking up fights between kids.  You don’t want to know who started it – no, you really don’t or what is a about. You don’t want the details of who pinched who, or who bit who”

If you do this well they will be obliged to ask you what you thought of the way they blew up or shouted or disciplined someone.  Just say, ‘It isn’t really for me to say, is it?’  Invariably they will say, ‘I would value your opinion’, or ‘No, I’d like to know’, or ‘It’s OK, say what you think’.  It doesn’t matter what they say, you’ve got them.

Now you can be conciliatory, now you can be the diplomat, now you have turned the tables.  Just say, ‘You handled it fine.  Trish was out of order and she needed telling’.  Don’t whatever you do, actually criticize the way they handled things.  Let them know you disapprove but never, ever admit that in real life.

Always remember that your job isn’t to make wave to ride them.  Surf your way to the top by being conciliatory.  By doing this you will win friends, bring together opposing sides and gain respect.

Being conciliatory is a bit like breaking up fights between kids.  You don’t want to know who started it – no, you really don’t or what is a about. You don’t want the details of who pinched who, or who bit who.  All you want is peace restored and for them to shake hands and start over again being friends.  That, at work, is all you want too.  Use the same techniques you would use on small children.

(Excerpts from THE RULES OF WORK by Richard Templer Read “The Art of Keeping Your Temper Intact” from The Rules tomorrow on Asabeafrika)

Rule-to-Work Series

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