|Veteran Nigerian Boadcaster, Bisi Olatilo of BOS Show|
I don’t care how annoying Pete in marketing can be, or how riled you get when Sandra from R & D takes the Mickey or how high your blood pressure rises when accounts cock it up yet again you will not ever, under any circumstances lose your rag. That’s it. There are no exceptions. No small breaches. No thin end of any wedges. You will not lose your temper.
Not unless, of course, it is entirely staged, for effect. Then you are allowed to do it. But you have to be very careful that you have chosen the right moment, the right occasion and the right person for an audience.
But if it ain’t staged then you don’t do it. And I don’t care how angry they make you or how annoying they can be or how justified you think you are. Loss of temper means loss of control. And the one thing a Rule Player has is control.
“Say when you feel aggrieved, immediately, so that you defuse the situation at once. Don’t let things build up a head of steam or you may well blow. Let it out bit by bit and it shouldn’t ever come to a head”.
So how do you sit on your hands? How do you learn how to be calm and well behaved? Easy. Raise your eyes to the heavens. No, seriously. You only lose your temper if you are involved, if you care, if you are part of the problem. If you shift your focus to higher issues – the old good of the company again – it becomes easier to see whatever it is that is annoying you in a new light.
Another method is to simply leave the office or meeting or whatever. Just say, ‘I find this situation intolerable’. And then leave. It creates quite a shock and usually does the trick.
Or try counting to ten while you sit on your hands.
Not losing your temper doesn’t mean not expressing emotion. You are entitled to say. ‘I find it extremely annoying when you eat all the chocolate biscuits/lose the invoices/upset another major customer/park in the MD’s parking space/steal the petty cash’ – whatever it is that drives you nuts.
It is OK to refuse to give in to emotional blackmail or bullying or over-assertive behavior or whingeing. It is not OK to bottle up stuff. Say when you feel aggrieved, immediately, so that you defuse the situation at once. Don’t let things build up a head of steam or you may well blow. Let it out bit by bit and it shouldn’t ever come to a head.
(Excerpts from THE RULES OF WORK by Richard Templer Read “The Art of executing an official fight” from The Rules tomorrow on Asabeafrika)
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