Thursday, 1 December 2016

Rule 78: STAND YOUR GROUND


By on 12:33
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Ex-Nigerian First Lady, Dr. (Mrs.) Maryam Abacha 


No one is allowed to bully you, threaten you, shout at you, hit you, intimidate you, frighten you, tease you, victimize you, or torment you in any way.  You are an employee.  If you aren’t doing your job properly, you should be taken to one side and have your mistakes pointed out calmly and rationally.  Anything else is abuse.

You are allowed to refuse abuse. You are allowed, calmly and rationally, to tell them to stop at once or you are entitled to use the full weight of the law to get them to stop.  You have to know when to stand your ground.


Obviously if they are mildly teasing – the same as everyone else gets – then you can’t walk out and calm unfair dismissal.  If your boss snaps at you occasionally – the same as they do to all employees – you can’t demand the European Court of Human Rights has them strung up, even if they are out of order. If a colleagues says they’ll give you a slap if you pinch their hole puncher again you can’t really expect the House of Lords to take up your case.  We are talking real abuse here, not the sort of rough and tumble you’d expect in the hurly burly of a busy working life.
“I don’t appreciate being treated like this.  I don’t appreciate being treated like this. I don’t appreciate being treated like this’.  Don’t lose your temper, or they may feel they have ‘won’.  Walk away”.

Standing your ground is about having standards, drawing a line in the sand and saying, ‘I will put up with this, but not this’, or ‘I will allow  them to do this to me, but not this’.

Standing your ground is about being assertive.  Being assertive is about confidently stating your bottom line:
·                    ‘I won’t be spoken to like that’
·                    ‘I am feeling threatened and bullied and shall leave the room’
·                    ‘I don’t appreciate being locked in dark cupboards and I shall have to report this incident to my union representative/boss/the police/the health and Safety committee/my mother’.

If bullied, stick to the stuck record – ‘I don’t appreciate being treated like this.  I don’t appreciate being treated like this. I don’t appreciate being treated like this’.  Don’t lose your temper, or they may feel they have ‘won’.  Walk away.

(Excerpts from THE RULES OF WORK by Richard Templer Read “How to be objective about situations” from The Rules tomorrow on Asabeafrika)

Rule-to-Work Series

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