Tuesday, 18 February 2014

The Secret of my love life with Shina Peters - Wife of 32 yrs, Sammie

By on 17:41
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Talks on how Celebrity Marriages Can Work in Nigeria
Sammie Peters in a hearty session with GDA.

Sammie Ayoka Peters is one of the few women in the world who are married to entertainment stars but equally blessed with a head that keeps their personality intact in turbulent times. The wife of the Afro Juju (A fast phased Juju-highlife music beat in Nigeria) brand creator Sir Shina Peters came into general consciousness after her husband dedicated a track to her in his year 1990 monster hit album—ACE, where he praised her for her unalloyed dedication to him in good and bad times. 

Until then, Sammie was a quite entrepreneur with a profile in fabric business. Unlike several other women who had children for Shina Peters, Sammie was a rare breed with a passion for family life which she eventually made Shina to build. The music star never stooped eulogizing Sammie for her generosity and patience towards him. At a time, when she suffered raising a child for him, SSP again waxed philosophically in a second album, Shinamania by encouraging his sweet heart to renew her faith as God who gave the Biblical Sarah and Hannah theirs would do her own in good time. Few years later, after her 40th birthday, Sammie gave Shina a bouncing baby boy in far away America and the boy was named after the reigning United States of America president Bill Clinton. SSP as fondly addressed rushed into the studio to wax a new album to welcome the child who was coming 9 years after their marriage. 
Today, Sammie Peters, through several crisis of life that dotted the 32 years relationship has come of age. The union has earned them several laurels which includes a loving boy child who is now in high school (Both had other children from other relationships before they officially married in 1995) and a thriving home which is the hallmark of a solid relationship. Sammie has also upgraded her status to an educationist with the founding of an educational institution called Intellect Star Group of Schools in year 2004 after taking courses in Nigeria, UK and US on Montessori education; the institution will be ten this year September. Sammie Peters who is seen in many quarters as the African replica of American born Hilary Rodam Clinton due to her large heart towards her husband’s shortcomings which in most cases is inflamed by his fame is one woman who knows how to keep her head from Press tapes and pages of the magazines and newspaper. But because she respects the sanity of Africa’s Number 1 Celebrity Encounter blog asabeafrika, the very gorgeous and intelligent woman who turned 54 last January 11th  2014 opened the door of her posh Iju, Lagos mansion to us in the early hours of a beautiful day in the second week of the 1st month of 2014. Like never before, the mother of 4 and grandmother of 2 told us the story of her 32 years romance with one of Nigeria’s famous music star Sir Shina Akanbi Peters. The secret of her endurance and tolerance in marriage will make renowned Love book makers to green with envy. Let’s take you into the enviable world of Sammie Ayoka Peters.   

Sammie and love of her life, SSP in a relaxed mood.
“We actually met in 1981 in Lagos, we lived in the same neighborhood and it was love at first sight. He was a very young and intelligent man but very ambitious towards his career. One thing I love about him was his soft hand; he had a very soft palm and a dashing smile that could arrest the most hardened soul. Of course he was a budding musician with lots of attention here and there but in 1982 we did our traditional marriage and from there the long journey started, we eventually did our white wedding in 1995. It was not an easy period, so many things happened in between that time but love conquered all”.

 I can say my husband was the first musician in his generation to do a legal marriage at that material time; so every other person followed. Then and even up till now, musicians don’t like to settle down but in Shina’s case, I think he had a sense of gratitude for me because he saw how patience I was and he felt if this woman could wait for me for such a long time, why cant I legalize the union, so he belt the cat by being the first among equal to marry a woman legally. Yes, at least I can say that, if you have a sense of history you will notice that he was the first to do that kind of a thing around that time. He was the first to belt the cat, because majority of them (Musicians) were always entangled in more than one relationship and they often fear that if they go and tie the nuptial knot with one party, they might get a lot of problem from the other party, the other lady might sue. If I marry this one legally, I might be sued for bigamy. So, they never wanted to do it but after my husband did his own, they followed suit and started doing it. So, he belts the cat. Since we married, it is still fresh like yesterday in our mind. It is still as fresh as we met. I cherish the memory of that event in my life”.
“Yes, you could say that it was unbelievable that we legalized our marriage after such a long time. It was as a result of trust, we dated for many years and I was able to understudy him. I got to know his chemistry. And in between our traditional rights in 1982 and the white wedding in 1995, we were together for like 15 years. So, he wasn’t new to me; I know him inside out and I can tell you I am familiar with his idiosyncrasy. But what I want to let out here is that in any marriage, one need a good level of understanding and what I call unconditional love. You have no reason to live in the bottle; I call it bottle-neck relationship. You need to be who you are, and you will find out that you will be much more relaxed. If you care to know the chemistry of your man, the truth will set you free from all emotional impediments. No man, I tell you, that does not like adventure. If you are a woman and you say “oh, my husband is not doing this or can not do this and that”, you are just deceiving yourself. Majority of men have this tendency to cheat, you get my point? But the fact remains that, you have to just love him unconditionally, forgive him at all times and always welcome him back home and move on with your life, that is one strategy that has worked for me over the years”.
Sammie & Only Son for SSP, Clinton Peters
In the perception of majority, Sammie Peters who hardly raises her voice over scandals involving her famous husband with other women is seen as the replica of former American First lady; Hillary Rodam Clinton in Nigeria, asabeafrika asked how she feels with such rating. Sammie responded “I appreciate the commendation but it never came so cheap for me and I believe it was same for Hilary Clinton during her husband’s Moniker Lewinsky gate scandal; this is the secret, I believe in unconditional love. If you love him, you love him. I can’t say I won’t love my husband and not tolerate his shortfalls and if that should be the case I must also tolerate his shortcomings because I chose to marry him in the first place. I said to you in one of my interviews years back, that I will rather share my husband than lose him out rightly. I am still on that point.  That is my philosophy. I will rather share him than not seeing him at all, than losing him out rightly. You say “I will not take this, I will not take that”, you end up losing your husband. And I love him so much I don’t think I can live my life without him. So, it is better if he goes and he comes back home, I will still have him, you understand? He is always there. If he goes like that, I am sure he is coming back by the special Grace of God. So, what I do mostly is to pray for him and say “Father Lord, ma je ki Oko mi Pade oni HIV o, Majeko pade agbako o (Father Lord, protect my husband from HIV Carrier o, protect him from evil). You get what I am saying? So, life is like that, you pray for your husband and bring him back home, make the home peaceful for him. Let it be like a home for him not a house. And you see SSP is a very wonderful husband. Despite his status as a famous artiste, he never shies away from his responsibilities. He does not leave me with everything, he does not allow me carry the whole load at the home front, and he equally contributes his own quota. Once he gets home, he radiates love and peace. He does not give me trouble; he is a complete husband and a dotting father. He is just too generous. When he is at home you will be happy that he is at home and he wants to be everything to you. I can say to you that my husband and I are like best of friends. We gist about everything, we laugh, we talk. Even our children used to ask us, what do you guys always talk about that you are always laughing. You get my point? Even when we are watching movies, we crack jokes about anything and we laugh about everything, and I can tell you that we have our moments of quarrels too. You hear “Olu mi, (Her pet name for SSP) why didn’t you call me, you went out and you didn’t inform me, no matter what, you should have sms me etc” and he will say “Sorry” etc, it happens vise-versa, we have our moments of little disagreement and we equally have our moments of fun.
Sammie in a relaxed mood.
One thing you notice as you speak with her is the fact that this woman is really trilled about her husband and she is never ashamed to tell you why “Well, I will go back to love again. Why I say love is that when you love someone, you are not looking at perfection. That is my own definition of love. There is no perfect individual, when you love someone, you love him unconditionally, no reason attached. I love my husband unconditionally, so everything about him thrills me. When he is at home, when he is working, when he is laughing; everything about him thrills me. So, I think that is the secret of my patience, of my endurance. I am able to take everything because I love him dearly and I don’t want to lose him”.
  If Sammie Peters were to draw a theory for successful marriage, her theory would have been called “The Sammie Peters theory for modern relationships” and this is the reason why it would work, hear her. “If you want to succeed in your marriage as a celebrity or even an underdog, number one, don’t nag on a man. There is no point in finding fault in a man or nagging about his actions every day. Something he did yesterday, you are still nagging about it today and you won’t even forget it tomorrow. I will rather welcome him home and say “Welcome sweet heart, how are you? How was your show? What do you want to eat?”, I will give him food, I will give him fruit. Fruit is very essential, I let him sleep. I won’t talk about anything even when I am upset, I allow him to rest; maybe the second day in the morning. Normally when something upsets me, I talk about it in the morning, when he is just waking from bed before attending to anyone. I will just say “Olu mi (The pet name for her husband) I want to talk to you, please can you give me few minutes”. If he is not ready for it, he will say “please, don’t start. I am not ready for that one now” then I will close the chapter. Then I wait for a while again and go back to him. He will say “You, you, if you have not discussed about this thing you won’t let me rest. Ok, what is it?” And I will say my mind out. I will say “Oh, what you did some days ago got me mad; you should have let me know that you won’t be able to come home. Even if it is through a short message system, you would have sent to me a message, and he will apologize to me. He will say “Ok, I wont do it again” although he would still repeat it but I have learnt to keep forgiving him because he is my crown.
Chief Mrs. Sammie Peters.
Can we say Sammie’s strategy of forgiving her husband relentlessly is her own way of expressing her Christianity or is that her nature? She told us more “Believe me that is who I am. Of course we have many Christians who can not even afford to forgive their brethren talk-less of an ordinary person. I am familiar with that Biblical verse that says you should endeavor to forgive 70 times 70 times and it applies to everybody around me. If I am upset, I let you know and immediately I forget the issue. Sometimes ago, one of my male staff stole my blackberry phone, I asked everyone including himself about the phone and he denied ever taking it. So, I waited patiently for closing time and I decided to do a random check. Something told me he took the phone, so I said come let me search you personally. Of course I couldn’t put my hand under him to find my phone but I just needed to psyche him up and see if I can be lucky once more. He knew I couldn’t search because he is a guy. So a friend of mine dialed the number right inside my office and suddenly we heard “Gban-gban-gban-gban-gban”(General Laughter) and I said “Ah, ah, this is my ringing tone now”. And immediately my HOD too started calling the phone and the thing started ringing on him. So, I said ‘bring it out’. And he brought it out, so I dispersed the rest of the staff because they were many. And he said “Mummy, I am sorry”. I said to him, it is gone. You are pardoned, it is gone.  He said ‘mummy, it will never happen again’ and I said to him ‘believe me, it didn’t even happen’. He sent me a text that he wanted to bring people to apologize the next day and I insisted he shouldn’t even bother as it is already past. The next day, I called him and I said ‘young man, I am adding to your salary. He was quite shocked and couldn’t believe his ears, he couldn’t believe; I said because you must have a reason for stealing my phone. Maybe the money I pay you as salary is not enough for you, I am adding. Even the rest of my workers were shocked and I added to his money. You get my point? So, it is good to forgive if not, you will grow to have many enemies in life and at the end of the day you will become disowned. And God said we should not keep malice with people. I think it is for our own good health. Imagine you keeping malice with everyone, if you keep malice with someone now, immediately the person enters here, the whole of your chemistry changes. You will immediately become very upset and that is very bad for your health. So, I believe forgiveness is the key to a happier life. It is the best tonic you can take to grow your health life; it is not even about the person you are keeping malice with, it is about yourself. If I am upset with my husband now I will be squeezing my face all over the place. But what am I going to achieve with that? Fine, we do have our odd moments, we do quarrel but we equally move on. The secret is forgiveness from the bottom of my heart”. (Follow us for the concluding part of the interview in 48 hours’ time, we won’t disappoint you. Watch out!)

Gbenga Dan Asabe

Africa's Number One Celebrity Encounter Blog



  2. what a lucky SSP for having this woman for a wife...