Friday, 1 April 2016

Funny conversation with Uromi monarch

By on 14:51
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Late Pa Anthony Enahoro

Last Friday (March 25) being my birthday, I received a rather bizarre gift and from the most unlikely quarters. At about 3PM, my phone rang and no 08033044203 appeared on the screen. Once I picked, a male voice came alive:
"Is that Louis Odion?"
"Go ahead."
"Is that Louis Odion?"
"Yes. Good afternoon, sir. May I know who I'm speaking with please?"
"I'm Onojie of Uromi, His Royal Majesty Zaiki Edonojie II."
"Oh!, Your Highness, good afternoon sir."

"So, because they gave you small money, you decide to be abusing me in your article today (last week edition of The Bottomline was entitled 'Vandals at Tony Enahoro's tomb'). What's your business in who I give title to? How can you go and be writing lies without hearing my own side?"
"Sir, I write an opinion which is free, not a news report. I'm not obliged to hear you before expressing my view."
"You're stupid for saying that! I say you're stupid... (Apparently mistaking the silence from my end to mean the call had dropped, he seeks confirmation) Hello...Hello..."
"I'm listening sir."
"You're stupid for saying that."
"Sir, I've tried to be courteous to you by listening to you even though I take strong exception to your abusive word..."

Louis Odion

"I say you're very stupid. You don't know me. I'm Onojie of Uromiland and I have over 120 communities under me."
"Sir, you've  to get this clear now. I take strong exception to your uncivil language. I respect your views. But that does not mean I'm not entitled to my own opinion."

"I say you're stupid. No one can stop me from giving title to who I like. I will do what I like. For now, I'll be thinking of what I'll do to you."
That was how the great Onojie of Uromi, obviously consumed by rage to start sounding like a dispossessed plebeian, chose to respond to my modest defense of the memory of foremost nationalist and Uromi native, Pa Anthony Eromosole Enahoro. From his tone, it was obvious his majesty can't wait to show off his riches in silver and gold atop the 120 sub-kingdoms under his thumb. He can't wait dazzle with his omni-science on anything under the sun including the proper interpretation of the laws of title and its award. Yet, he betrays little knowledge in ordinary things like the difference between a comment and a news report.
In a statement, the Enahoro family strongly argue the "Adolor of Uromi" is hereditary and should be assumed by Kenneth, Tony Enahoro's first son. They objected to "a plot to offer the title to the highest bidder."
For me, the second tragedy is the Onojie's cheap reasoning that only naira and kobo could motivate a columnist to weigh in in defense of Pa Enahoro. (Of course, discerning Nigerians can see where bank notes exchange hands and those smiling to the banks today by trafficking titles without honour.) Again, the Onojie not only diminished his stool by resorting to abuse, he also took liberty to threaten my life. Well, I've already briefed the relevant security agencies and my lawyer. If I or any of my relations were to lose even a single hair, Nigerians know who to hold responsible.
It clearly shows how low our traditional institution has been dragged.

Gbenga Dan Asabe

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