Friday, 4 November 2016

Moneywise 25: Why Mentors are difficult to get in Nigeria (Q&A for the Millionaire Doctor Part 2)

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Celebrity Blogger Gbenga Dan Asabe with Ex-Abia State Governor & International Businessman Dr. Orji Uzor Kalu

I must thank God for your life and for the unbelievable level of openness you display in your column. It is always a delight to read you every week. I have noticed that you have access to quite a lot of big people who advise you. I have found out this is not the case with ordinary folks like us. These big people are difficult to reach; they don‘t want to share their secrets for money making.

And you have said consistently that we should look for mentors.
How does one get around the difficulty of finding people for mentoring purpose? I need your advice.
Olopade John,

“I have been asked this question over and over again and my answer has always been the same. You can get anything you want if you put your mind to it. And I have found this to be true also: God always honors the desires of your heart. But the problem is that most of us go about getting our desires realized in a wrong manner.
Every week, I get tons of e-mails from people who want me to be their mentor. I take my time to read the e-mails and in most cases I find the contents very interesting. I read statements like: “I am appointing you as my mentor whether you like it or not.” “As my mentor I believe you can bail me out of my financial situation; I need urgent financial assistance. Please help!”. “I have appointed you as my mentor and I intend to see you next week to pour my life into you”.
Very harmless statements, but I need to stress that mentoring is a very complex concept and it is better handled with care. A mentor—protégé relationship is one that cannot be taken casually. It is serious business. By asking someone to be your mentor you are actually giving that individual permission to influence you; to play a part in shaping your life and in the process to also benefit from what you are bringing to the table. So it is a relationship you must consciously enter into with an open mind that it may work and it may not work. I have some few suggestions you can try. I have used some of them with good results”.

“Constantly strive to protect the interest of your mentor. Defend him even when he is not present. Be his ambassador. You are likely to damage the relationship if you manifest behaviors that are inconsistent with those of your mentor.
Don’t be a parasitic protégé. Bring something to the table. Be willing to work free for your mentor if it is necessary. Don’t drop your mentor’s name. It may work against you”.

Step 1:
“Go on a separation session and find out what God’s purpose for your life is. This is crucial as you cannot go far without discovering what you are here on the planet for. Take inventory of your abilities and interest and resolve to stick to your discovery. I advise you don’t seek a mentor until you have sorted out the question of your purpose”.
Step 2:
“Search around and look for at least three individuals doing well in your area of assignment. Get to know these individuals intimately. Ask questions around. Find out more about the individuals from as many channels as possible. The fact that somebody is doing well on the surface may not necessarily mean he is good for you. This process takes some time, but unfortunately many who are looking for mentors always want to bypass this step. This can produce undesirable consequences later. If you get in, and you discover you need to pull out, this may be embarrassing to you and the assumed mentor”

Step 3:
 “Narrow the list to just one person. Let me warn that in financial matters, you need mentors in at least five areas: spiritual-which is key, real estate, investment, financial planning and business. You have to go through the same process in choosing each of them”.

Step 4:
“Approach the person. If you have done your home work well, you should have discovered how to go about it. You can approach the person directly. You can go through his close associates. You can write a letter formally introducing yourself and what kind of relationship you want. There is an approach I have used that has worked all the time. Send a gift before ever asking for a relationship, nothing big, just an indication that you are likely to be a different kind of protégé. If you have discovered what your proposed mentor likes get it for him immediately. I have tried this method all the time and it has worked all the time. No failure rate. Let me also share a trick: know what his wife likes and get it for her. You should send this through her husband. Once the wife is satisfied with you, that is almost automatic clearance. If it is a woman, get to know what her husband likes and make it happen”.

Step 5:
“Once you have been accepted as a protégé, you should book the first appointment with the person. Ensure that you are armed with either a tape recorder or a diary. This will send a positive signal that you intend to take his advice seriously. Always prepare questions in advance. Don’t talk too much. Ask questions from a list. Successful people are busy; they don’t like people who don’t value their time”
Step 6:
“Make sure you implement the details of your last discussion. Let him know about the progress you are making through the mutually agreed channel. Brief him on the progress when next you meet with him. Try all the steps and share the result with me. But let me also give these general tips.
If you are rejected by your proposed mentor initially, don’t get offended. It took me up to a year before I eventually got the attention of somebody I was madly interested in getting to coach me. God knows the right timing and that is why you must be prayerful about it”.

“Constantly strive to protect the interest of your mentor. Defend him even when he is not present. Be his ambassador. You are likely to damage the relationship if you manifest behaviors that are inconsistent with those of your mentor.
Don’t be a parasitic protégé. Bring something to the table. Be willing to work free for your mentor if it is necessary. Don’t drop your mentor’s name. It may work against you”.

“Let me warn that occasionally you may discover a few things you don’t like about your mentor. This is normal as no one is perfect. This is the more reason you should get closer to him. But if it is so serious that you feel like pulling out, pray about it very well and part in harmony”.

“It is worth going through all this trouble to get a good mentor because if you are lucky to find the right one, your journey to the top would be faster. I have gained incredible speed in my journey to financial freedom by meeting quality individuals who have poured their lives into me. Through some of these relationships I have developed an incredible network of friends that would have been difficult to encounter on my own.
And even if you cannot get a mentor physically, get into some relationships by reading good books.
So, my brother I am encouraging you to launch out right away. Don’t fear rejection. Once you know how to go about getting a wife of your dream, you already know how to locate a good mentor!
Good luck”.
Ayo Arowolo, Publisher The Millionaires' Capsules
Parting Words by the Author
“A big congratulation on making it to the end of this book; the greatest advice I can ever give to you for persevering to the end is this: ‘don’t ever let today pass without making an irrevocable commitment to implementing every capsule to which you have been exposed in this book’.
I know you can do it. And please always remember what God says about you: “You are fearfully and wonderfully made”.  Go ahead and succeed. The world is waiting for you because you are a financial miracle waiting to happen!
Know the Author…
Ayo Arowolo, the author of the book The New Millionaire’s Capsules is a Reuter’s award winner. He has been involved in financial education for the Past 20 Years as a reputable financial and investigative journalist. He has worked in leading newspaper groups in Nigeria including the Concord Group, the Guardian Group, the News Group and THISDAY Group
Mr. Arowolo was the founding Managing Editor/CEO of Financial Standard Newspaper, and founding CEO of The Investment Club Network (TICN). 
He is the lead facilitator at The Wealth Builders Seminar Series, Nigeria’s Premier Personal Finance educational Consultants.
Mr. Arowolo speaks to audiences around the country, focusing on how individuals can take full charge of their personal financial affairs and release the giants within them.  You can reach him on .

Gbenga Dan Asabe

Africa's Number One Celebrity Encounter Blog


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